Since I was two years old I have wanted to become a mom. Basically since I could grasp the concept of family or I guess in my two year old mind, baby. I made everything into a family. Whether it was my mom’s dangly earrings as the parents and her studs as the babies or my brother’s lego people (something he did not share my interest in). I played every variation of house possible and even a bit of apartment, condo, and hotel. Needless to say while all my friends dreamt about becoming teachers, astronauts, veterinarians, or actors I dreamt about becoming a mom.
I do not just want a baby though I want to have a stable family. I’ve always wanted to have a loving partner, an education, and a secure home before starting a family however, now that I have reached that point in my life where the possibility of having a baby is nearing, I find myself hesitating. I realize how much I appreciate the level of independence I have. I can make plans with friends with no worries or responsibilities. If I am sick I can use a sick day and stay at home by myself to relax. I have more financial freedom and less financial stresses. I find myself becoming acutely aware of the dramatic shift my life will take once I become a mom; it will be a life long commitment.
Once I become a mom, I will have a lifetime to be a mom. I know you have probably heard your parents say a million times “slow down, you have your whole life ahead of you” and I am seriously beginning to realize how true that is! Don’t get me wrong I am very excited to take that next step in my life. I mean if you ask anyone who knows me, I am a little to obsessed with starting a family. I just am starting to appreciate the time and space I have. I am focusing on being happy with what I have now and the way my life is now. However, once I do become a mom I will forever have Lindsey’s sophisticated, clean, expensive, baby free apartment to escape too.